Why do I hate myself

I am at reboot in camp navarro. There was a session by Jason Tan who spoke about loving yourself. He started by talking about his journey building his company for 13 years. In which he explained that he was not happy, he was actually depressed. He realised this when he had LSD. It came down to him realising and asking himself - dude why are you unhappy? He talked about how when he was trying to fall weight when he used to fall off, he used to eat more.

This is exactly what I do. There are so many cases where I have guilt, this guilt morphs into shame which transforms to anger and which eventually gives way to hate. So I want to ask myself - dude why do you hate yourself?

I have been gaining weight, eating unhealthy foods, using sauces and then feeling bad. I am doing it because I hate myself and want to punish myself. Initially when I came here, I was not able to enjoy myself because I was guilty that i was not spending time on work and with my family. To me I was wasting my time. I should be enjoying the currentarea but I couldnot. So jason’s talk resonated with me immensely.

Things changed when I asked myself 0 why do you hate yourself dude. My shoulders relaxed, I started breathing in a calmer way and I think that i the core question to me. Why do I hate myself. I should learn to love myself. Only when I will learn to myself will I get to a point where I would be a counseller to myself and possibly a friend. I show kindness to the world but the only place where kindness is not there is to me. I should make a list of things I love.