On Purpose

I recently took the Gallup 5 Big Strengths test. My highest strength came out to be significance. This means that the core force that drives me is impact. I need to understand cause and effect. In effect, it means that I need to understand the purpose of why I am doing something.

At various points in my life, different goals have motivated me. A recurring theme is money. Money usually motivates me when I think that the peers I benchmark myself with are making more than me. It is not that I require the money. It is usually used as a barometer to mark success. The other times when money has motivated me are when my desires have leapfrogged my salary. It is usually when I am signaling by buying expensive brands in the false hope that this expensive thing will change me. However, with money, happiness is ephemeral. It does not last long. It does not give satisfaction. Chasing brands after a point makes me sadder because other products are usually present that would enforce my signaling. Being unable to buy them throws me into the pits of moroseness.

What does give me satisfaction is achievement when I have overcome a stiff challenge. Like if I have aced a particularly difficult exam or I have lost weight by being disciplined. The feeling of having proven myself usually gives me that satisfaction and happiness. It is also an example that I can fall back on when times are tough. No branded jacket can give me this feeling.

While I used to think it was an element of competition and defeating others that motivated me, it is usually the feeling of doing well in my own eyes. Competition comes secondary. I should know the bar and try to do better. When I reach close to that bar, I will look around and try to defeat others who are better than me. The primal instinct of being on top kicks in. It is not satisfaction. It is more primal. More Darwinian. It makes me feel more powerful but not more satisfied.

The thing which has given me the most happiness is when I have helped others. When I have helped somebody whose circumstances are not as fortunate as mine. When I have tried to bring some happiness to their faces. The gratitude and happiness on their face stays with me for a long time. It fills me with purpose and I feel happy about myself. I may not even meet them, but I think somewhere inside, I feel satisfied that I used my resources to make their today better.

The final aim of life is whether you are satisfied with the way you have lived. I think at some point, I should start evaluating what gives me happiness. After securing mine and my children’s future, I should think about the causes I want to support. The happiness I want to spread. That jacket can wait.