On Not Lying To Yourself

In my life, whenever I have failed, it has come down to the fact that I have not accepted reality in time. I have lied to myself that things are better than they are. I have provided myself with a false sense of comfort and superiority or attributed the conditions to just the wrong time. It has happened both in personal and professional relationships. It keeps me away from the truth and does not let me believe that there is a problem in the first place. Hence I do not act and by the time I act, its too late.

We lie to ourselves because we do not want to endure the pain of accepting the truth. Knowing the truth means confronting our reality and making changes. We have to come out of the cocoon that we have built around us. This can be shattering as it challenges our long-held beliefs. The changes are tough. Accepting reality is brutal. But while the day we accept reality and the next few days are gut-wrenching, slowly, as we make changes, the situation improves.

But I think somewhere deep down, we know we are lying to ourselves. We know that we are deluding ourselves. Hence, while we do not accept reality, our bodies know we are lying to ourselves. It keeps the score. It shows as various pains and stresses in the body: stress eating, high blood pressure, and insomnia.

So, I think one should always remain close to the truth and in touch with one’s own feelings. Meditation can help. Being some sort of a masochist can help. Always striving to seek truth can help. Always challenge the notions and see how your body reacts. If it feels better, it usually is. It may lead to a situation where others might think that we are a mood killer or party pooper. But the benefit accrues to us.

Seeking truth is painful. It will be tough but it will save us from the quicksand of conflicting emotions, stresses and general unhappiness.

Confront your reality and then try to change it.