On making others happy

I was an extremely pampered kid. I was the first grand child for both sets of my grand parents in addition to being an only child. Hence I was showered with gifts. I always had the latest toy or gadget. I think part of having the latest toy was out of love my parents had for me and part of it was because it was their way of assuaging their guilt of not being able to spend enough time with me. I spent a lot of time alone. Solitude became a friend. It is always easier to buy an expensive toy to keep the child busy and feel you have done your part.

As I grew up, there was a desire to have the latest and the most shiny thing available in the market. What started with toys - gave way to phones and now eventually cars. However, the thing is that these devices never gave me true happiness, The happiness remained for maximum a day and then it was life as usual. It was just another tick mark in my life,

What instead has given me long lasting happiness is when I have made others happy. The times when I have helped somebody and made their day better. When I have put a smile on their faces. The happiness in their eyes when some act of mine brightens their day stays with me for a long time.

I think the core reason for this is, it is one of the ways I have made a difference. While buying things for myself is an exercise in vanity, when I help others it can change their day, month or even lives. The smile and genuine affection shown by them remains etched in my memory. It is these memories which I seek out whenever I am feeling lonely, sad or am in despair. The fact that I made a difference in somebody’ s life even for a minute makes me feel good about myself.

Eventually every action we perform has a selfish motive. Even in this case, my motive of bringing smile to others is not so much about them but rather about what it makes me feel about myself. I go to sleep content having made a difference and made somebody,s day brighter. I think of the gratitude they would feel about me and the affection they would have about me. It comes from a feeling of being accepted and liked. Eventually it is all about signalling.

So I will help others because it makes me feel good about myself.