On Growth and Change

The first time I got an opportunity to lead a bunch of peers was at BITS. I was the cultural representative, then headed publicity at Waves ( cultural festival) and had nearly the same role at Quark (technical festival). I think I did decently well. I had a great team, trusted them, delegated, and got the credit for success. But at FMS, where I was the general secretary, I was not very successful. What had changed?

Time gives the benefit of hindsight. So, I think I can now see some patterns. In BITS, while I managed teams successfully, I was unsuccessful individually. Academically, I was average and did not have any other achievements. I had put it down to not taking responsibility, not getting my hands dirty, and not working hard. I never got into details, but I was happy to understand things at the surface level.

By the end of BITS, I had decided to change my ways. I started looking for individual brilliance. I got serious about my studies. But most importantly, I took charge of my life. I did well academically, and I got in better shape.

But somewhere, I started viewing my old self as a lazy work-dodger who looked for an easy way out and depended on others, hoping things would happen. I decided the best way was to be in the details, know every task, and be impatient to achieve excellence. I was hard on myself. I wanted to solve everything myself and not depend on anybody else. I wanted to excel. I looked at everybody as a competition and had to beat them. I needed to earn respect by showing I knew more than them. This helped me push myself. It made me a great individual contributor.

But it also made me a micromanager who took on too many things on his plate, was overwhelmed, and did not give directions to the people. I did not trust that others would do a great job, did not fully explain what I wanted, and was impatient with them. Naturally, I failed as a leader.

The skills that make me successful as an individual contributor failed me as a leader. While for an individual, knowing details, being an expert at everything in your purview, and being hard on yourself make one successful, it is disastrous as a leader. A leader needs to create an environment that makes others thrive; she needs to delegate and trust people, explain excellence, and help people achieve it. A leader thrives when she has a team better than her, is comfortable in her skin knowing that, and creates an environment where she earns their respect. This comes when others know that they are better than the sum of parts together.

Every time one grows, one needs to shed his last skin, understand his situation, and determine what sustained success requires at this point. Then try to build that muscle. Only then will one grow consistently.

The only thing that never changes - working hard and chasing excellence.