On Connecting with the Past

I recently visited my alma mater. I was given a very warm welcome. The students accompanied my family, showing me around, and even had a session of questions and answers with me. I should have been delighted at the homecoming - except I wasn’t.

It had nothing to do with the institute. They were incredible. I do not like visiting the past. To me, it is a chapter that has been written, and the book is closed. Revisiting it only makes me think about what I could have done better. I am not the sentimental type - I don't reminisce about the good old days.

I have always believed that my future should be better than the past. On one hand, this belief motivates me to work better for the future, but on the other hand, it also easily severes my link with the past - places, people, and to an extent, emotions. Needless to say, I am not the best at keeping in touch.

I think this stems from my past. I have changed seven schools in my life. By the time I was changing my third or fourth school, I had made two decisions. Not to get too attached to people in the new school, and not to rue over the people and things I have left behind. It has been challenging to break that mould.

Which is why I was surprised when I had the same feeling when visiting my college. My closest friends are from the college. The most meaningful friendships I formed were there. I came of age in that institute, and yet, I did not enjoy visiting it. I was always thinking of what I could have done better.

That is not the way to live. Happiness comes from connection, sharing and community. Communities are formed around shared stories, laughter, and jokes, and are forged when facing adversity together. A life is lived by embracing and feeling all the emotions - the highs and the lows, the love, the laughter, the pain, and the sorrow. Remaining inert makes one the spectator, not the player.