On being Present

I was listening to a podcast featuring Maj. Vivek Jacob. He is an ex-special forces operative of India’s 9 Para SF. When one works at the edge of life and death as special forces operatives usually do, one becomes contemplative and philosophical. He mentioned about operating in a flow state while in combat. A state where there is no thought in the mind except about what is needed to be done right now. All the senses are heightened, and it appears that the time has slowed down. He did mention that a lot of it is muscle memory, but he also attributed it to being present in the here and now.

It made me ponder. How many times have I been truly present in the here and now? How many times have I fully concentrated on the present? At times, I am thinking about the past, either reminiscing about the glories or ruminating about the things where I faulted and imagining how I would have done things differently - leading to dissonance. Other times, I am worried about the future. Here also, I am either thinking about the things I have to do in the future, looking at the big mountain to climb and feeling discouraged or imagining the triumph when I scale the summit. This is before I have taken the first step - leading to either feeling discouraged or feeling accomplished without doing anything.

So, as an experiment, I decided to start focussing on the present. I started to concentrate on my breath and remind myself what I must do right now. I was at the airport and told myself to be fully present what I have to do. Which at that point meant to go to the boarding gate. I did not think about anything else but only about the steps I had to take to the boarding gate. Surprisingly, the time did appear to slow down. I could sense and feel a lot more things and felt extremely light. It felt that I was an observer seeing everything. After I had reminded myself what to do, my body was sort of moving on autopilot while I felt like a third-person observer. It was surreal. It was as if I was floating in the stream, perhaps that is why it is called the flow state. I liked the feeling and it have me a sort of a high. A very relaxed high.

I still haven’t mastered it, and my mind still wanders. But having experienced the state once, I want to get this calmness and feeling again. So now I consciously remind myself to be fully present. It takes an effort right now, and I have to do it consciously, but I hope it soon becomes a muscle memory and happens subconsciously.