On Being Comfortable In Your Skin
MBA placements have a thing called day zero placements. The highest paying, most reputable, and the firms having the most snob value come on this day. As the days progress the package and snob value reduces. To a large extent, many MBA students base their self-worth based on the day and the slot they get placed in. Since the competition is between the members of the same batch - it creates a hierarchy in the batch. For the rest of their lives, most people try to benchmark themselves against how they are doing as compared to their batchmates. Whether they are earning more, have reached a position in the organization, or are working for organizations that have a high snob value. The funny thing is a program that celebrates capitalism judges itself by a status game.
This leads to many instances of people entering an industry, role, or function that they do not enjoy but remain there because it was scheduled on a particular day at their college. Somewhere, a sense of fulfillment eludes them. Other times, they think about the role or function that made them truly happy, but they did not take it up because it does not rank high. The feeling of what-if gnaws on them. Many want to hit a number and quit to do what they like. The number keeps getting bigger, and the space keeps getting filled with material things.
However, the most damaging factor is signaling. The perceived status game creates a situation where even in great, fulfilling, market-defining, and monetary well-paying roles, people want to hide their position because they perceive them to be low status. They obfuscate roles, firms, and departments to fit into their definition of success. This creates a situation where they hide more about themselves and are self-conscious. At some point, it starts taking a toll on them. It manifests in lost friendships, less networking, more internal anger, and a pervasive sadness.
Leading somebody else’s life or living one’s life according to somebody else’s parameters has never made anybody happy. The first step towards happiness is to know oneself. Knowing what makes us happy, what makes us feel fulfilled, and what is important for our current situation - grounds us. In effect, it means being comfortable in our skin. It means accepting, discussing what we are doing, and understanding our unique situation. Only then will we accept and appreciate the struggles of this situation and feel fulfilled when we overcome them.
The truth is, except our internal dialogue, nobody else cares. People are too busy with their lives to think about us. What people do celebrate is success. Success comes when the combination of situation, hard work, talent, interest and luck meet. The best way to create this to be comfortable in your skin and try to be better at what you do.
Forget about others; do what fulfills you - they do not care anyway.
