Look at Me

“ Measure what matters” is an often repeated quote. But to me, the right quote should be “Look at what you want to change.”

I lost a lot of weight in 2022. This was due to looking after my diet, measuring my weight and doing the proper exercise. I gained nearly all of it back last year. Again, this was due to a bad diet and not measuring my weight. The difference was I was not willing to accept that I had gained weight. To me, I was still the same lean, muscular guy from 2022. You would ask - how did I not see the change in your body shape? The thing is, I stopped looking at myself. I stopped looking at my stomach. Like an ostrich, I believed if I did not look at the problem, it would go away.

It took a trip to the US and people pressing my belly for me to realise how wrong I was. I started noticing my shape. It was tough at first to realise how hideous I looked. I hated looking at myself. I would turn my eyes away but force myself to look at myself. It took sometime but then I sought to look at the hideousness. The first step was acceptance. I knew I was fat. I knew I did not recognise the boy in the mirror. And I knew that I had to make changes.

The first step is realising that there is a problem. Only when this is realised and accepted can solutions be found. This is one of my core life lessons. Starting anything makes us come face to face with our deficiencies. It makes us confront the reality that we are shit ( at that thing). It is an unpleasant feeling to have. But it is the first step that has to be embraced to know where we stand.

The feeling of inadequacy was felt when I started to prepare for CAT, CFA, learning to drive, and everything I was not good at. At the start, I was hideous, but I did not run away. I did not fear it. I knew it was a demon I had to conquer. I needed to look at it first.

So look at yourself. See the hideousness. Accept the reality and then work hard to change it.